On Perception vs. Cognition

The weekend with Rachel was next to flawless.

The rugby match was terrible, and I barely played, which I completely expected. It's slowly killing me that the one thing that makes me happier than anything else in the world is the one thing that is making me angry and hateful.

After breaking up a bar fight and having a heart-to-heart with one of my best friends regarding how miserable she is, I turned around in my bar stool to come face-to-face with Rachel. She asked me to be her girlfriend and, of course, I said yes. Come Monday, we talked at dinner and she revealed that she's not positive about putting a label on it yet. I had to let her retract the offer. I had no other choice.

I don't really mind. With or without the title, I know that my loyalty lies with her. I'll be shipping up to Boston once again for fall break (or "reading days" as they are known to VCU's academic calendar, as if anyone is taking those days to catch up on missed class readings). We'll see how I cross that bridge when I come to it.

Though the thought completely depresses me, I am coming to realize that I really, truly, just may never graduate. The School of Mass Comm has ridiculous requisites and formalities that make getting into the Upper School (the Sequence) nearly impossible for anyone pursuing any other academic goals (like [a] minor/minors in non-SMC concentrations, such as the two I am currently pursuing). There's really nothing left to say that I haven't already said or just silently come to accept.

In an only slightly rhetorical question - would I really be the worst person ever if I just gave VCUWRFC the shaft and went to coach for UofR?

Notes on the Seaboard

And so it goes that something I figured would be a one-time, unrequited jaunt into complete lust and infatuation has turned into something real with very tangible feelings and actions to go with it.

Rachel arrives at National Airport around 3 on Friday afternoon. All I've wanted to do is show her the two cities I love - my home, DC, and my new adventure, Richmond - and as I am now counting down the days, I keep my fingers crossed that I am able to show her just who I am and convince her that I'm worth taking just one blind leap of faith in life.

On Relativity and Determinism

As I write this, I am sitting on a bed in an apartment on the campus of MIT in Boston, MA. This weekend has not been one that is easy to put into words. Quite the contrary, in fact. I've typed and deleted attempts to qualify and quantify the events and emotions to this point so many times that I stopped counting.

I think I'm going to give up for now, and leave it at a muddled tentative conclusion of uncertainty, unclarity and falling action.